


Fight Fire with Fire

by iheartgeekz



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Flashbacks, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 07:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4470296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iheartgeekz/pseuds/iheartgeekz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evaluation day has come to Eastern Command and all soldiers are required to demonstrate proficiency in firearms, survival skills, and hand-to-hand combat. Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang are selected to fight each other in close combat. Havoc worries about the possible consequences of putting two war damaged soldiers in the ring together. Contains PTSD mentions, non-graphic violence.  Angsty with a subtle Royai.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was evaluation time again for the soldiers serving in the Amerstrian Military. Every two years, performances were evaluated to assure soldiers were ready at a moment's notice for whatever their country demanded of them, regardless of rank. Proficiency was demanded in firearms, survival skills, close combat, and other vital areas of knowledge. It was also an opportunity to show off to the higher ups and gain rank. The time had come for Eastern Command's evaluations and bulletin boards were placed showing times and tasks expected for each soldier. A large crowd had gathered around the main lobby where the first notice had been posted.

"Aw man, Hawkeye is doing the firearms evaluations again this year? Damn," one lamented, "Last time I had to remediate because I was 'precise but not accurate enough.' What does that even mean?"

"Freaking snipers, man. They forget the rest of us are human."

"I may forget some things, but I remember you two," First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was standing behind them, glaring daggers at the two young warrant officers. "Since you both remediated, I don't anticipate any difficulties on the range this time. I expect to give you both a good evaluation." She could be intimidating when she wanted to be. Many of the soldiers had difficulty respecting a female officer, particularly one of a higher rank. She did not merely demand respect, she earned it.

The two scampered off, embarassed and annoyed. "Wow, we've got that to look forward to huh?" Heymans Breda laughed, "I'm not worried, you'll go easy on us, right Lieutenant?"

"Don't count on it," she told him with a sly smile, "I hold my team to high standards, but only because I know you are capable of meeting them."

"Can Fuery even hold a rifle or will it blow him away?" Jean Havoc teased the shorter master sergeant, ruffling his hair.

"Hey!" Kaine Fuery protested, "I did better than you did two years ago. Better than Mustang too, he was barely even hitting the targets." The Flame Alchemist's aim left much to be desired. His flames had pinpoint precision but with a firearm he was all but useless.

"He did," Hawkeye recalled, "and you will all have to qualify with a rifle and small arms."

"What? Since when?" the men protested.

"Since this year," she told him, "Additional proficiency is being demanded by the higher ups. If your score is not passing, you remediate for both."

"That's ridiculous," Breda scoffed, "You could hit a target from a quarter mile with a rifle but if you bomb the small arms you remediate both? Who thought of that?"

"I did," she crossed her arms over her chest, "Is that a problem, Breda?"

"No ma'am." he looked down at his shoes, "I will see you on the range."

"Look at this, pairings for close combat evals," Havoc pointed to the list, "They're doing it by regiment. We're all together. Fuery and Breda, me and Falman, and..." he froze, carefully reading the last two, "Hawkeye and Mustang?"

Hawkeye raised an eyebrow, "Interesting. I suppose it's to build morale as a unit. 'Mock fights are to last five minutes or until there is a clear victor. In the event of a victory, the losing opponent will attend remediation under the direction of Brigadier General Basque Grand.' He is excellent in close combat. He knows several martial arts forms from Xing." The idea of fighting her superior officer was intriguing to say the least. The two of them were used to verbal squabbles but this was going to be purely physical. The colonel was stronger than he looked, but she was faster.

"Uh-uh, bad idea," Havoc objected, "They shouldn't put Roy in the ring with her." He felt a sinking feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach.

"Havoc, he would never hurt the Lieutenant," Fury told him, "He may have a temper but it's just a mock fight."

"The two of you are kind of messed up," Havoc turned to Hawkeye, "No offense. But the two of you have both been through a hell of a lot in Ishval. Sometimes, when Roy fights, he disconnects. I've seen it happen. They won't let him use alchemy in the ring but he could still hurt you before he realizes what he's doing." Many soldiers had returned from the east with broken bodies or broken minds. For some, there were nightmares, for others the terrors came while they were awake. New Years fireworks were already banned near military bases after too many incidents.

"I know, I've seen it too," she agreed, remembering the last time it happened. He had been in a fight with a Drachman who snuck on base to steal records, but he didn't remember that. He didn't remember his lieutenant calling his name as he nearly burned the man alive. He didn't remember her sitting with him afterward until he could think clearly again. He didn't remember her bringing him to a therapist the next morning either.

"I've seen it in you too," Havoc admitted, "The difference is you withdraw, he lashes out. It's not safe to put you two together, it's a recipe for disaster."

* * *

" _Hey Rebecca, miss me already?" Havoc grinned, pleasantly surprised by the voice on the other end of the line. He pulled his boots up to rest on his desk, "I should have known."_

" _Hardly. It's Riza," she told him, "She's really shaken up. They're demolishing a building down the street...I think the noise is bringing back some bad memories. She's just hiding out in the bathroom." Rebecca was crouched down beside her roommate, sitting with a blank stare on the bathroom floor. She rubbed circles on her friend's back, trying to calm and comfort her._

" _Oh. I see," He looked over across the office. Roy Mustang shot him a puzzled look. "Don't worry, I'll take care of things on this end. We'll just take a raincheck for tonight."_

" _Thank you," Rebecca told him, "If I called Mustang he'd be down here, useless. And all the noise might upset him too. She just needs space, and a little time. I'll get her out of here for a little while to get away from it all when she's ready." Her friend nodded softly in agreement beside her._

" _Boss? Hawkeye isn't coming in today." Havoc announced._

" _What? She's already an hour late. This isn't like her." Roy was concerned. She never took a day off, even when sick as a dog, she would come in until he ordered her to go rest._

" _She's taking a personal day," was all Havoc would say._

* * *

"I see you're finding your opponents!"

"Fuhrer King Bradley!?" the soldiers snapped to attention, shocked by the appearance of their leader towering over them.

"At ease, I'm not here on any official business. I came to observe the matches!" he smiled, "Lieutenant Hawkeye, I'd like to thank you for agreeing to do firearms qualification again this year. We're fortunate to have such a talented marksman among our ranks."

"Thank you sir, it's an honor." While she took no glee in using her lethal skills in the field, she was proud of her accomplishments on the range. She refused to believe what Major Kimblee had told her years ago, that the satisfaction came from knowing that she killed her opponent with them never even knowing they were in her sights. She was proud of her skills, but not how they had been used.

"And it looks like I'll be watching you fight...oh, Colonel Mustang!" he laughed, "That will be quite a sight to see! I'm looking forward to it." He waved as he walked away, giving off a carefree vibe that was unsettling to say the least.

"Someone should tell him." Breda sighed.

* * *

Havoc walked up to Roy Mustang's desk, finding the man sleeping in a precariously tipped chair. Noon had come and gone but his now overdue paperwork was still sitting on his desk beneath his boot heels. "Hey chief, you see the eval schedule yet?"

Roy bolted upright, nearly falling over in his chair, "No, I know that Hawkeye is doing firearms training again this year. She told me yesterday." He yawned and stretched, lazily looking over at the clock. "1420?!" he furiously began flipping through the forms on his desk.

"Relax," Havoc laughed, "I forged your signature. They're all signed, you just have to get them to accounting. They're a little late but the paperwork is done."'

"You did what?!"

"We've been doing it for years," he shrugged, "At least when Hawkeye isn't watching us. She says it's illegal." Lieutenant Hawkeye was always keeping her peers in check, making them follow the rules, even when the rules were not always the best course of action.

"It is, Havoc." Roy deadpanned.

"Oh." the cigarette in his mouth drooped a little, "We don't do it again, boss."

Rubbing his eyes in frustration the colonel sighed, "What were you saying about the evals?"

"They want you and Hawkeye to fight. Hand-to-hand close combat. Tomorrow afternoon." he watched carefully to catch the man's reaction. If he had one, he missed it.

"I suppose the schedule is not negotiable?" he asked.

"Nope. No substitutions, exemptions, do not pass go, do not collect 200 cens," he signed, "says right there on the board. Well, not that last part. I added that."

"I can't fight Hawkeye," he admitted, "I don't want to hurt her. She could probably do some damage to me but it doesn't seem very evenly matched." He'd known her since they were teenagers. They knew each other better than they knew themselves. They trusted each other with their darkest secrets, and vowed to guard each other's lives. The last thing he wanted was to be the one to hurt her. At least if he was the one fighting her, he wouldn't have to watch anyone else hurt her either.

"Considering you'll probably hold back, she's got a pretty good chance of kicking your ass."

"Who says I'll hold back?" Roy challenged, "It may be a mock fight, but that doesn't mean I'll hold back. Not for her, not for anyone." These evaluations showed to the higher ups who was capable of rising to the top and who would be left in the dust. If he had any chance of becoming Fuhrer, he couldn't show weakness or hesitation.

"Boss, you've got 50 pounds on her, easy. Mostly muscle. And not to be sexist or anything, but she is a girl."

"You underestimate her," he chuckled, "She's small, sure, but don't count her out so quickly."

"Roy," Havoc stopped him, using his first name, "I don't think this is a good idea. Even if you're both fine physically, best case scenario, you're both shellshocked. I've seen it. I don't think you two can both walk away from this and be okay." He pleaded, not wanting to see either of them suffer when they had already endured so much while following the orders of their country. "You guys did what you were asked, and it was messed up. And you're both a little fucked up from it. Pardon my language, sir, but you know it's true."

"We both see counselors, it's under control, but I appreciate your concern, lieutenant. You are dismissed."

Havoc swallowed hard. Tomorrow was going to be a rough day.


	2. Chapter 2

"Breda, squeeze, don't pull," Hawkeye directed, "Your aim should be spot on but you're throwing yourself off when you pull the trigger. Let me see three more rounds, squeeze carefully this time." She watched through binoculars, watching Breda's target. His new grouping was much tighter, only slightly off center.

"Did I pass?" Breda shouted, trying to be heard over the heavy ear protection they had been given.

Hawkeye nodded in approval, "Nicely done. You passed handgun proficiency with flying colors but your rifle score could be higher. You may want to work on that but I will not recommend you for remediation." She could tell her team was exhausted after the morning of training. What was supposed to have taken a couple of hours had lasted nearly six. Her team had been more unprepared than she had expected, but rather than send them all to remediation, she worked with them to get them up to par. She really didn't feel like forcing them to go through additional training.

"Oh thank you merciful powers that be," he sighed with relief, putting the safety on his weapon.

Hawkeye observed the rest of her team, making slow but steady progress. Havoc was doing just as well as she had expected and finished early. Since he was a firearms specialist, he helped her supervise the rest of the evaluations. "Overall not too shabby," he told her, inhaling deeply from his cigarette, "Falman should be good, too. Mostly the usual suspects need some work. Fuery's gonna wreck his shoulder though." He observed the younger officer's rifle kicking back hard against his collarbone, "Hey Fuery, tuck the butt of that rifle in closer!"

After watching her superior officer struggle for a little too long, Hawkeye crouched down next to him on the range, "Sir, you're aiming too low. Drop your body down further, keep your weapon flat. Let the positioning of your body guide the bullet's path." she drew her rifle and lowered her body to the ground, flat on her stomach. She easily found the target's center ring.

He turned to her, watching her line up her body next to his. It came so naturally to her, like the rifle was an extension of her arm. The awkward, sprawled position that was giving him cramps looked streamlined and cat-like on her. As a sniper she might have to stay in this position for hours, waiting for an opening. She didn't even blink when the rifle fired, kicking back against her shoulder. Her sharp eyes never strayed from her target, filled with intense determination.  _She really is something else._

Roy dropped his body lower, trying to mirror his lieutenant's position. He took a breath and let it out, squeezing the trigger slowly. He hit the target downrange head on. Satisfied with his work, he straightened up, "That's a personal best, Lieutenant. You should be proud."

She chuckled, "Personal goals are good things to have, particularly for someone as ambitious as yourself. But the targets are only at 50 meters. Don't get too cocky, sir."

"50 meters is no small feat," he pouted, "I don't think I'll ever need to hit anything much further than that." Aside from his sidearm, he rarely relied on firearms. He was much more accurate with his flames. He always knew he could count on his lieutenant for backup as well, relying on her skills to help keep them both safe from harm.

"Hey chief, she's accurate at 2000." Havoc reminded him. Havoc's own skills were impressive, but he had to admire his friend's proficiency. She held the range records across the board.

Roy shook his head, defeated as he unloaded his weapon, "I would never be so foolish as to put myself in her league." He returned the rifle to his lieutenant to return to the armory. She frowned, clearing the last round from the chamber. "I am apparently foolish enough to not fully unload my weapon."

"An easy thing to miss, sir," she assured him, "You are dismissed. I will see you this afternoon."

As he left the range, Roy gave one last glance over his shoulder back at her. In less than two hours he would be fighting his closest friend.

"You two still planning on going at it?" Havoc asked, worried about how she was coping. She always kept her cards close to her chest, never betraying much about what was really going through her head.

"That's the plan," she said, "It's five minutes. I appreciate your concern, but I think I can hold my own for that long, even with him fighting at full throttle." Her soft smile did little to reassure Havoc.

"You really do have a lot of faith in him." For a duo who claimed to be nothing more than friends, their bond ran deep. But there was a tension between the two that could be felt like the electricity in the air before a summer storm.

"I trust him implicitly,"she concurred, "We've known each other for a very long time. I agreed to follow him into hell. If hell is what the military asks of us, we walk through fire and brimstone together."

* * *

Word of the fight spread like wildfire through the gossip hungry offices. Dozens turned out to watch the fight, many of whom had placed illegal bets on the outcome. The fairgrounds arena was outfitted for the event. The Fuher sat with the judges overlooking the arena, noting carefully who performed well and who left a lot to be desired. It was no secret that evaluations played a large roll in promotion recommendations. The two combatants sat on the sidelines, stretching and warming up for the main event.

"If we were betting men, who would you pick?" Breda asked.

"It's gotta be Mustang. If she were allowed to use her weapons, it would be no contest. But he's too strong." Falman told him. He was holding onto Hawkeye's weapons for her. Amazingly she'd concealed two knives and three handguns on her petite frame.  _She has all this on her just on base? What does she carry out in the field?_

"I think Hawkeye has the edge, she's fast, and he'll hold back so he won't hurt her. What do you think, Lieutenant Havoc?" Fuery didn't want to see either of them get hurt. His fight with Breda earlier in the day had been pretty uneventful. He'd been outmatched from the start but he got a few good jabs in. These two were more evenly matched, making things more interesting.

"Either way, it's not going to be pretty," Havoc worried, "She doesn't have her weapons, he can't use his alchemy. They're both out of their comfort zone. That makes people do some crazy shit. And they both have to show off for the bosses." He looked up at the judges, chattering among themselves as the match was getting ready to begin.

Brigadier General Grand stood on the mat between the two competitors, "You both know the rules. No weapons, no alchemy allowed. No hits below the belt, no hits to the head. Fight until one of you taps out or until the fight is called by the judges. Shake on it and begin when ready." He kept his eyes trained on the two as he stepped off the mat.

The two shook hands, never breaking eye contact. Hawkeye squared up her opponent. She could sense his hesitation, seeing tension in his muscles. His moves were careful and deliberate. He was afraid of hurting her. His shirtless form revealed more muscles than she expected. "I must say I'm surprised, sir. I didn't think you had kept in shape since you've had a desk job."

"This?" he looked down, "I do more than just sit around snapping my fingers, you know. You however, have clearly been prepared."

He was right. In some situations, guns will be of little help. She worked hard to maintain her strength and stamina, necessities for keeping herself and those she vowed to protect alive. Beneath her dark t-shirt, Roy could see the outline of her form, tightly toned and conditioned. Being a woman in the military meant being constantly underestimated. She used that to her advantage, letting her opponents assume she posed little threat before proving them wrong.

Hawkeye landed the first blow, sweeping her leg underneath her superior officer's feet, knocking him flat on his back. It clearly took him by surprise but he was quickly on his feet, getting a quick punch beneath her ribs, doubling her over.

"That one looked like it hurt," Breda cringed. He debated whether or not to watch, but knew it was best that they did in case something happened. Havoc stood beside him, watching with furrowed brows.

"They're about a minute in. Just keep it up, you two." Havoc muttered.

Kid gloves came off a few minutes in. Hawkeye knew where to strike for maximum effect, waiting patiently before quickly pouncing when she saw a window. Mustang was less methodical, putting his energy into landing hard, quick blows, trying to wear her down by making her dodge him.

"I think the Colonel messed up his left arm, he's favoring that side," Fuery observed, "He's putting a lot of force behind his swings. Isn't this supposed to be a mock fight?" The colonel had been keeping his left shoulder low ever since he blocked one of her punches with that arm.

"It's supposed to," Breda agreed, "But there's a lot of pent up frustration down there."

"They're still keeping it fair though, playing by the rules. They both know how to fight dirty." Havoc looked down at Roy's gloves in his hands.  _At least he doesn't have these._

Hawkeye landed a strong kick to Roy's chest, knocking the wind out of him, bringing him to his knees. For a moment, the crowd watched, waiting to see if he would rise again. Even the lieutenant seemed surprised by the effect her blow had, standing back and watching carefully. "Colonel?"

He straightened up and charged, throwing her to the ground. Her hairclip broke free, letting her hair fall into her face, obscuring her vision. While she was down, he kicked her hard in the stomach, forcing her to cry out in pain.

"Hey, illegal move!" one of the judges shouted, "Mustang, one more of those and you're out!"

He had stopped listening. As Hawkeye tried to rise up, he knocked her back down, towering over her. He put his boot heel on her throat pinning her to the ground. As she looked up, she saw something in his eyes she had not seen for a long time. "Colonel, please, stop this. It's me." she pleaded, hoping to get through. She got a foot out from underneath her and drove it hard into his groin, giving herself time to get to her feet again.

"Ouch," Falman cringed, "She got him in his little Fuhrer." Every man watching felt that blow.

"Great, rules are going out the window." Breda sighed, "Mustang, you started it, you finish it."

While Roy was stunned from the blow, Hawkeye got a few more hits in, hitting his strong side to keep him down. Once the stars clouding his vision faded, he jumped at her, driving her to the ground as he sat on her chest. His knees on either side of her body kept her arms pinned by her side, leaving her trapped. His left hand held her throat tightly while he raised his right hand. "Stop!" Basque Grand ran forward, "Colonel Mustang, that is enough! The fight is over!"

Roy snapped his fingers. As he heard the sound of skin on skin, he stopped, realizing he wasn't wearing his ignition cloth gloves. He blinked, realizing it wasn't real. But the woman beneath him was. "Lieutenant!"

Havoc leapt over the arena barrier, grabbing Roy from behind, putting his right arm in a hold, "Roy, knock it off, it's over!" He pulled the colonel off of Hawkeye, "Riza, you okay?"

Shaking, the colonel fell forward onto his hands and knees. He couldn't tear his gaze away from the woman on the ground. She was gulping in air desperately, coughing as she blinked away tears. Her bruised and tender ribs protested the movements of her ragged breaths. He saw fear in her eyes, fear and hurt.

"Lieutenant Havoc! Escort Lieutenant Hawkeye to the infirmary for evaluation. Colonel Mustang, I would like a word." Brigadier General Grand's expression betrayed no emotion. He kept his expression stoic as he watched the scene unfold.

 


	3. Chapter 3

"Well done," the Fuhrer clapped, "A rather intense demonstration by two skilled soldiers. It's good to see that our state alchemists have their strength as well as their talents. And the finest sniper the military has known in a century can hold her own against one of the best. The country is in good hands."

The proclamation left a bitter taste in Roy's mouth. The country was in twisted hands, hands that applauded cruelty. He stared down at his hands, the snap of his fingers still echoing in his ears. When he closed his eyes to blink, he could hear her screaming, replaying the scenario in his mind every few seconds.  _What have I done?_

"Easy now," Havoc knelt down beside Hawkeye, who was still laying on the mat, staring blankly up at the sky overhead. She barely reacted to his touch as he gently pulled her arm up over his shoulders, taking the brunt of her weight. He kept his free arm against her side, supporting her tender ribs as she rose. She inhaled sharply with a his as she straightened, easing shaky feet under herself. Havoc waited with her, giving her all the time she needed. Falman ran up to her other side, helping support her from the other side. "We're going up to medical to get you checked out. Can you walk?"

She gave a slow nod. Her spirit seemed more broken than her body. Deep auburn eyes remained downcast, avoiding the looks of sympathy from onlookers. Surprisingly she put up no resistance when her team helped her to her feet. Normally she was very resistant to any attempts at medical treatment, even when she needed it. The two men exchanged worried glances. Once she was on her feet she limped along, refusing to be carried. The pain she felt was undoubtedly real, but it wasn't what was keeping her down. She looked behind herself once, to see the colonel walking away with the Brigadier General.

"Why didn't you come to me if you thought this was a possibility?" Grand growled, "You could have killed that woman." He was more disappointed than angry at the younger officer.

"It was clearly stated that there were no substitutions, sir. I was following orders." Roy knew it was no excuse. He'd followed unjustifiable orders before to great consequence.

"We don't want every soldier here swapping left and right to try to get what they want. If we didn't put a limit, that's what we'd get. Since when do you care about the fine print?" he pulled the colonel into his office, closing the door behind him loudly.

"Sir?"

"You have a duty to protect your men, and you failed to advocate for their safety!" he sat down at his desk, his expression never betraying any emotion, "Either one of you could have come to me if you thought there was a problem but as a higher ranking officer it was ultimately your responsibility. I expected better of you."

"I thought it wouldn't happen," Roy admitted, "I thought I could keep it under control. I never thought I would hurt her." He'd lost control before. But every time before, she was always there to ground him, to bring him back from the darkness and into the light. This time hit harder and deeper than he ever imagined, leaving a vice-like grip on his heart and soul.

"I was there too you know," he sighed, "I know what you two went through. All you had to tell me was that you had a concern about it, and I would have swapped you two out. Hell, there are other ways you can prove yourselves physically. Exceptions can be made."

"It won't happen again, Brigadier General." Roy swallowed hard.  _Who would be next?_   _Havoc? Fuery? Fullmetal?_

"It can't. If I feel the safety of you or your men is in jeopardy, I will not hesitate to make the necessary staffing changes to ensure that history doesn't have a chance to repeat itself."

* * *

As Roy walked back to his office, avoiding the accusatory glances and murmurs in the hallway. He wondered if he could ever face the rest of his comrades, or if he would be forced to restation himself somewhere far away, in the frozen north, away from those who knew his shame. He didn't know how he got back to his office, his feet simply led him there as if by their own accord. He saw some familiar faces knocking on his door, Edward and Alphonse Elric, carrying suitcases with them.

"What are you boys doing here?" While their presence wasn't unwelcome, it was unexpected.

"We're looking for Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Al told him excitedly, "She said we could stay with her while we were in East City since our train was delayed, do you know where she is?" The boy's enthusiastic innocence was almost too much to bear.

"You don't know, do you?" Roy couldn't even look at the two boys. He didn't want to be the ones to break the news to them, but he didn't want anyone else to either.

"Know what?" Ed asked, "Did you finally make her quit?" Ed didn't know how Hawkeye managed. She must have the patience of a saint to put up with everything the colonel put her through.

"She's dead." He said simply, pushing past them into his office.

"You, you're kidding right?" Ed dropped his suitcase, leaving it broken open on the tile floor. She'd survived years of war, protecting the colonel's life for years. He knew she was by no means immortal, but she was young, healthy and strong. How could she possibly be dead?

"She's dead. And I killed her." Roy admitted to the shocked duo.

* * *

" _I need you to hold still." Roy soothed, his hands shaking. Hawkeye lay facedown on his bed, her bare back exposed to him. He slipped on his gloves over his pale, clammy hands, "I'll leave as little trace as I can."_

_She nodded, never saying a word that would betray any of the fear she felt. She knew it would be painful but she had no idea what she was in for. Nevertheless, it had to be done. There could be no more flame alchemists. The secrets her father put on her back had to be destroyed and Roy was the only one she could trust to do it._

_He snapped and she shrieked, "Don't stop until it's gone, please!" The smell of her flesh burning away filled his nostrils. He raised his hand and repeated the procedure, chipping away at the burden on her skin. His pounding pulse in his ears drowned out her wails. It had to be done. If he stopped now he would have to do it again, force her to endure the pain, to relive the anxiety of the moments leading up to it. He snapped again._

Roy blinked a few times, he wasn't in his old apartment anymore. He was in the arena with his subordinate.

_He looked down at his hand, having just snapped flames from his fingertips. Riza Hawkeye lay beneath him way too still. Havoc was pulling him off of her. She didn't get up, she gasped and whimpered in pain. His burns must have gone deep. Finally, she lay still again on the floor. She did not get up again. He heard no more sounds from her._

* * *

"No, you, you couldn't! You would never!" Al's voice brought him back to reality. He shook the colonel in gentle desperation. "She's your best friend, you couldn't have killed her!" If a suit of armor could cry, Alphonse would have been bawling.

"I snapped my fingers," he deadpanned. "I heard her scream, and...she was gone."

Ed and Al fled. Despite hearing the colonel shouting after them, they kept running. They refused to look back behind themselves, not wanting to see the man's face again. With no destination in mind, they ran as fast as their legs would carry them away from him. After all the trust they had placed in the colonel, he murdered his dearest friend, the woman with a heart of gold beneath her tough exterior. They stopped as they nearly ran into Lieutenant Havoc, walking down the stairs. "Whoa! Slow down you two. Where are you off to in such a rush?" he raised his hand to tousle Ed's hair but thought better of it when he saw the look on his face.

"Why didn't anyone tell us about Lieutenant Hawkeye?" Ed demanded between pants.

"Oh. You boys heard about that, huh?" he ran a hand through his hair nervously, "I'm sorry, guys. It  _just_  happened."

"I-I can't believe it. I never thought the Colonel could do something like that." Ed felt like he was going to faint.

"I don't think you boys want all the details." Havoc was still trying to process it all himself, "It only took a few minutes but it wasn't pretty. I'm glad you weren't here to see it."

"You saw it all happen?" Al asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I did. So did half of Eastern Command and the Fuhrer who watched for kicks and giggles. Do you boys want to see her? She's upstairs, I can take you to see her." Havoc offered sympathetically. He could tell the brothers were distraught over the news. Colonel Mustang could be a bastard but no one ever expected him to do anything other than mild mischief to his men.

"I don't know if I can," Ed choked out, "I can't believe she's gone." He didn't want to picture her lying there with no life left in her. He'd seen so many leave too soon, why her too?

"Gone? What are you talking about?" They had lost him. The lieutenant hadn't gone anywhere. He knew the boys were worried about her, but why were they so distraught?

"The colonel said he burned her, and that she didn't survive." Al told him sadly, "He said he heard her scream and she was gone." He could barely choke out the words.

"What? No! They beat the shit out of each other, but she's alive. She's up in medical getting checked out. Falman and I brought her up there, she was shaken up but she's going to be okay. Hey hang on!" The boys had already began urgently sprinting up the stairwell to the second floor. Havoc quickly followed them, panting for air as he reached the top of the stairwell.  _Damn, I need to cut back on the cigarettes._

Ed and Al burst through the doors of the infirmary. The hourglass figure of a woman's back faced them. Obscured by bandages wound tightly around her chest, an intricate tattoo covered the woman's flesh from her neck down to the dimples above her backside. The details of it were obscured by deep purple bruises. A cascade of golden hair brushed over old burns that had long since healed, leaving pale pink scars cutting through the array. The woman turned to face them in surprise, "Boys?!"


	4. Chapter 4

Hawkeye turned her body around on the exam table, shielding her back from view, "What are you all doing here?" Worriedly she wondered how much they had seen.

"Mustang...said you...were dead." Ed panted, still in shock over the news. He'd never been so relieved to see her face.

"Sorry, lieutenant!" Havoc told her, "We've clearly had a breakdown in communication."

"Clearly," she suddenly realized that while her back was now out of view, her chest was on display in front of three young men. Ed and Al had noticed, but averted their eyes out of respect. However Havoc's eyes were glued to her breasts, his lips slightly parted as he tried to keep his jaw of the floor, "Lieutenant Havoc!"

Shaking his head, Havoc came to his senses, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare. They're just right there, and they're...they're lovely!" He was always a sucker for breasts, she couldn't fault them too much for looking. Since she normally dressed pretty conservatively when not in uniform, they were rarely very visible, much less fully exposed in a cold room.

She grabbed the pillow from the exam table, covering her body from view, "Why did the colonel think I was dead?"

"He said he killed you by burning you," Al told her. He was relieved to see her alive but he still seemed worried. The bruises were fresh but the burns on her back were old enough to have healed.  _Was she injured during the war?_

"Boys," she sighed, "I'm fine. A little pain medication and some support for my broken ribs is all I needed." She eased herself off the table and pulled on her shirt over her bandages, keeping her bra off to avoid it rubbing against her ribcage.

"Broken ribs? The bastard broke your damn bones?" Ed exploded. When he heard Mustang hadn't killed her, he considered letting the colonel off, but now his rage began to crescendo again. Just because she had not died didn't mean he could get away with what he did to her. Shock faded away, leaving disgust and hate behind.

"He did," she acknowledged. "And I did a number on him as well." She wondered to herself if the colonel would ever be able to father children after that kick. It was a dirty move, but it had bought her some time.

"And those burn marks on your back, did he do that too? Or is he the one that tattooed his alchemy on your back?" Ed demanded, trembling as he stood, "I saw the markings, they're the same as on his gloves. That's flame alchemy, isn't it? And he used it on you!"

"No!" Al was in disbelief.

"Whoa, Ed-" Havoc tried to calm the teen, but Ed pushed past him.

"He activated the array and burned your skin, didn't he?!" Tears were forming at the corners of his eyes. He knew that Mustang used his deadly art to kill thousands during the war. But he never expected to see the effects of its destruction so close, on the body of someone he cared about.

"The colonel would never do anything that irresponsible!" Al told him, "This has to be a mistake. You should talk to him about-"

"No," Hawkeye told them, "I want you all to come with me." She gathered her things and gestured for them to follow her. The look in her eyes told them that there was no room for argument.

* * *

Hawkeye walked past Ed's broken suitcase on the hallway floor and opened Mustang's office door. She gestured for the men to enter. Surprised faces greeted them. Roy stared from across the room, "Lieutenant? You're alive?" If he hadn't already been sitting down, he may have fainted. Remarkably wasn't dead, she was alive, walking, taking charge.

"Good observation, chief," Breda quipped. "We've only been trying to tell you that for 15 minutes."

"All of you shut up." Hawkeye ordered, "Alphonse, I want you to lock the door behind us. Fuery, I want you to close the blinds. There's something you all need to know." She pulled off her shirt, turned away from the men. Carefully, she unwound the binding on her ribs, revealing the full length of her back.

"Lieutenant?" Roy asked hesitantly, "What are you doing?" He'd never seen her show her bare back, not even to him, when he knew what was there.

"They've seen it, Roy," she told him. She rarely used his first name, even when it was just the two of them. Her voice was softer now, but still with a commanding presence that demanded respect. Even standing naked in the office, surrounded, she maintained her dignity. "I can't hide the truth anymore."

"Oh my God," Fuery gasped, taking it all in.

"Holy shit..." Breda was finally speechless.

Falman said nothing, he just swallowed hard, trying to decide if he should look or not.

"One of you two," Ed started, looking back and forth between Mustang and Hawkeye, "Better start talking."

"As you've figured out, part of the array matches the ignition cloth gloves the Colonel uses for flame alchemy." she explained, clutching the shirt and bandages in front of her, keeping her chest covered. "My father put it there when I was about your age, Edward."

Ed cringed. He had a high tolerance for pain but he couldn't imagine the number of hours it would have taken to drive the ink, a drop at a time, into flesh to create that. From what he could see, there were alchemical symbols, Latin inscriptions, and transmutation circles in incredible detail.

"Why would he do that?" Al asked. As much of a bastard as their own father had been, he couldn't imagine him doing anything to cause his children physical pain or harm.

"His research was his legacy," Roy explained, "He was the first flame alchemist, his life's work perfected over many years. He refused to teach it to me however because he disapproved of my decision to join the military."

"He didn't trust his research to be written down on paper, even in code in case it fell into the wrong hands." she continued, "He entrusted me with it, putting it somewhere I could guard it with my life. One night, he told me there was something he needed to do before he died, his dying wish. He did not leave much room for discussion."

Roy swallowed hard. Never wanting to know the answer, he hadn't asked if the tattoo was placed on her back with her consent or if she was coerced. He had always hoped that she had been willing, but something in the back of his mind always told him that it wasn't like Berthold Hawkeye to ask permission.

"How could someone do that to their own child?" Fuery asked incredulously.

"Initially, I was angry. I wanted it off. No matter how much I scrubbed, tried to scratch it out from under my skin, it was still there," she admitted, "A few days later, he was dead. And I realized it was all I had left of him." Angrily, she blinked away tears. What had that man done to deserve her tears?

"She trusted me with her father's research, to use flame alchemy to become a state alchemist, and do some good for this country. I passed my certification with flying colors and was shipped off to Ishval to put my skills to work." Roy explained, placing a steady hand on her shoulders that she didn't realize were shaking.

"It was highly efficient," she recalled, "A single flame alchemist turned the tide of the war almost overnight. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it for the first time. I regretted sharing my father's life's work, but I knew it could never be undone, I could only prevent any of that knowledge from spreading."

"Is...is that why your back is burned?" Ed asked reluctantly. Of course she would have been the one to risk her life for a greater cause.

"Yes. I saw how the military used the alchemists as human weapons. There was no need for the order for extermination in Ishval other than as a show of force. If this military ever learned that there were instructions for that kind of power, they could create an army of flame alchemists that could conquer the world without hesitation. Likewise if I were ever captured by the enemy, they would not hesitate to use the knowledge to destroy Amestris." Goosebumps rose on her exposed flesh. What had happened in the east was horrific enough. Imagining how much worse it could have been was too difficult to picture. She remembered the glee some of the State Alchemists took in their work, men like Major Kimblee, delighting in bringing buildings down on top of entire families. She had to keep that power out of the hands of those who would further abuse it.

"After the war, she asked me to burn away the array, permanently removing her from her father's burden," Roy shut his eyes tightly, trying not to remember what he'd done. "I did what I could, burning away the most critical parts. A few minutes in, she started to go into burn shock. If I'd removed the whole array, she may not have survived. I had to leave most of it intact." He regretted that most of all. As much as he wished he could have done what she asked him to do, he felt like he failed her.

* * *

" _I have to stop." Roy told her, placing a cool damp cloth on her back to stop the burning and ease the pain. He pulled off his gloves and tossed them aside. She was too pale, her heart was pounding too fast. Remarkably she'd endured three burns before the fourth became too much._

" _You can't, you said you would burn it all away!" she tried to get up but found her limbs weak and useless beneath her. "You promised me!" Her desperate pleas tore at his heart._

" _If I do that, you might not make it, Riza!" he tried to convey the urgency to her. "You need to breathe, you've been holding your breath. Take deep breaths. Stay with me now." His voice was soft, calming. Though he was her commanding officer and she had become accustom to taking orders from him, she listened to his words out of trust, not obligation._

_She nodded, trying to breath as deeply as her injuries would allow. She winced as he pulled thick soft blankets around her body, covering all but her head and the tender wounds on her back. Wanting to thank him, scream, say something, anything, her voice failed her. He brought cool water to her lips, gently encouraging her to drink. She gulped it down desperately before he pulled it away._

" _Easy now," he soothed, "You'll make yourself sick if you drink too fast. Stay under the blankets, even if they're uncomfortable. You have to keep your body temperature up. I'm not leaving your side, not for a minute. Not until I know you're safe." He had brought his sleeping bag out beside her bed so he could sleep on the ground beside her, watching over her._

" _Rules?" she asked him, making sure he remembered their agreement._

" _No one else knows about this, no ambulances, no hospitals." he recited. It was too risky. If anyone found out what they were doing they could both end up facing serious consequences. He fumbled through a backpack, filled with supplies he'd stolen or purchased in the days leading up. He'd broken into a veterinarian's clinic to steal IV supplies and raided a pharmacy for antibiotics and pain medications. Feeling a crisis of conscience, he left an envelope of money wherever he had to steal. He found the IV he'd started in her arm before they began and ran a bag of fluids into her body._

_She nodded in agreement, feeling exhaustion overtake her. "I'm so tired."_

" _You can rest, but I'll be waking you up pretty often to check on you." Having done his research beforehand, he knew she wouldn't be out of the woods for a while. He'd promised her no hospitals, even if her life depended on it. Silently he prayed he wouldn't have to make that call. With shaking hands, he drew up a vial of morphine and shot it into her upper arm. She barely flinched as the needle went in, settling comfortably into the pile of blankets as he tucked her gently back in._

* * *

"When you snapped your fingers in the arena, you remembered burning her for real, even without the gloves," Havoc figured. "Your mind pieced together the rest when she didn't get up. You thought she was dead?" It all made sense. He couldn't imagine the fear the colonel must have felt, reliving the night his dearest friend nearly died by his hand.

Roy nodded curtly. "It just...seemed so real." He had thought for sure that he had lost her, that he did the unthinkable. The sounds, the smell, feeling his fingers snap under his command did not feel like memories. She looked so lost and broken. Regardless of what was real and what was memory, the pain he caused her was real. How many times had he hurt her? _Far too many._


	5. Chapter 5

For a while, the team stood in silence, processing everything they'd just heard and seen. Hawkeye slowly pulled her shirt back over her head, relieved somewhat by the fact that her burden wasn't hers to bear alone anymore. For years she'd dreaded anyone finding out about the origins of flame alchemy or how it was used to destroy itself, but a feeling of peace came with knowing that those she trusted most knew the truth.

"I think we should call it a day," Breda suggested. "It's 1600, nothing else is going to get done. Even if it did, I don't think any of us can think real clearly right now."

A chorus of nods agreed with the sentiment. The news still weighed heavily on everyone's mind. As they packed up in silence, Havoc spoke up, "Hey chief, I don't think you should go home alone tonight. You either, Hawkeye." He worried about the impending threat of nightmares or flashbacks that may haunt them after they left for the night. That was something no soldier should have to face alone.

"I appreciate your concern, Havoc, but I'll be fine," she tried to assure him. "Besides, I won't be alone. I have Hayate, and the Elric brothers are staying until their train gets in tomorrow morning."

"Lieutenant, no!" Ed waved his hands in front of himself, dismissing the idea, "We don't want to be a burden on you after everything that's happened, we can get a hotel, right Al?"

Al started to agree, but quickly rethought it, "I don't want to be a bother, but I don't think she should be alone either."

"Yeah. Neither should he," Ed agreed, referring to the Colonel. He'd never seen the older man like this before. Everyone knew he cared a lot about his lieutenant, but everything seemed to hit harder than he was letting on.

"The three of you can come to my apartment," Roy offered, "It's close to the train station and I have a spare bedroom. Her apartment is going to be a little crowded."

Ed reluctantly agreed, hoping that he and the Colonel wouldn't drive each other, or Hawkeye crazy by tomorrow. They were pretty good at rubbing each other the wrong way. In small doses they could get along, tolerating each other well, but Roy would often stoop to Ed's level of maturity, leading to a cascade of problems. If their relationship was ever professional, it lost all semblance of propriety years ago.

"Alright," Hawkeye agreed, "As long as I can pick up Hayate first."

"No pets in my apartment," Roy reminded her, "But I'm sure Lieutenant Havoc wouldn't mind taking care of him for the night."

"Sure thing, boss." Havoc agreed, "I'll look after the little scamp. He likes me."

"Except when you offered him Xingese food so you could make him a cannibal," Fuery pointed out. He'd been mortified to learn that Havoc tried such a thing with the young pup. He later claimed that it was chicken, not dog, and there was no risk of cannibalism, but Fuery was sure it was just to calm Hawkeye's wrath when she found out.

"He liked it!" Havoc protested, "And the Lieutenant was fine with it, until you told on me."

"So you have a spare bedroom, which one of us gets it?" Ed asked the colonel. "Are we going to have to fight for it?" He regretted his choice of words, given the day's earlier events. It was only a figure of speech, but poorly timed.

"The Lieutenant gets the guest room, since you're short enough to sleep on the couch." a slight smirk flashed across Roy's face.

Ed's temper flared, "Who are you calling a bean-sprout, half-pint midget!"

Hawkeye separated the two, something she had a feeling she would need to do a lot tonight, "That's enough you two. Edward, go get your suitcase fixed up. We will work out arrangements once we arrive."

* * *

Roy invited them all inside his apartment, which rarely saw much in the way of company, save for his dates. He told them to make themselves at home before wondering if the kitchen was well stocked enough to feed them all. "Do you two boys know how to cook?" he wasn't confident in his ability to make something and he didn't want Hawkeye to have to cook for them either.

"Granny taught us," Al told him, "And Winry is helping me get better at it. I want to be able to taste everything once I get my body back."

Hawkeye evaluated his cupboards and fridge, looking for anything promising. Clearly, this was the home of a bachelor. Instant noodles, instant mashed potatoes, canned vegetables, and the fridge had more beer than food. "Sir, I don't think cooking will be an option. How do you live like this?" During the time he lived with her and her father, she cooked for them regularly, teaching Roy the basics on how to prepare meals. Apparently not much had stuck.

"There's plenty to eat," he protested, checking the cupboards again. They were just as sparse as when she had checked them. Defeated, he pulled out his wallet, "I guess it's been a while since I've gone shopping. You boys can go get us whatever you'd like for dinner."

Ed nodded, taking the money from Roy's outstretched hand. He wasn't quite sure why this was a two person job, unless this was a clue that he wanted some time alone with his lieutenant. He decided against arguing, "Alright. Come on Al."

One of the few things Roy did keep in his kitchen was tea. Part of it was a habit, something his mother and foster mother always kept around. Part of it was being prepared in case his lieutenant came to visit. He put a kettle on the stove, taking out some mugs, hoping a cup of something hot would help bring her some comfort. "Everything's where it was before, make yourself at home." he offered, pouring her a cup.

"Except this time your pilot light is working," she smiled, remembering the last time she came over. The old brick building was frigid, with no working heating system to speak of in the dead of winter. She dissuaded him from trying to light the old oil heating system using his alchemy, lest he risk blowing up the entire apartment. Although it hurt his ego, he called management to fix the faulty furnace.

"This time, the pilot light is lit," he confirmed, chuckling at the memory.

"How are you doing, sir?" she asked, "You've been favoring that arm."

He shrugged his shoulders, rolling them in slow circles, "Better. You really pack a punch, Lieutenant. I'll probably be feeling it for a few days." He didn't want her to feel guilty about hurting him. On the contrary, he was proud that she could hold her own, even against him. "What about you?"

She looked down at the steam rising from her cup of tea, "Fine. They sent me home with something for the pain if I need it. They also gave me a dose in the infirmary." She knew little could be done about broken ribs or bruises. They would heal with time, and time alone.

He could tell by watching her that whatever they had given her was still working its way out of her system. Her movements were guarded, but her pupils were still dilated. Each movement she made was careful and deliberate, trying to hide the clumsiness that accompanied her dulled reflexes. He worried about how much pain she was in versus what she was letting him see.

"Take what you need, Lieutenant," he encouraged, "I can draw a bath for you if you'd like."

It did sound inviting. Feeling the heat of her tea through the cup, she imagined the warmth surrounding her on all sides. "I think I will take you up on that, sir."

"Don't 'sir' me in my own home, Lieutenant," he chided gently. "My only rule is I stay in there with you." Her jaw dropped and she looked as if she were going to strangle him, "I don't want you getting drowsy and falling asleep in the tub." He could tell she was exhausted. The relaxation might just knock her out. The last thing he wanted to picture was her slipping beneath the water, and him being useless to try to save her.

* * *

"Turn around" she ordered, checking the temperature of the water. She'd always liked her baths extra hot, leaving her skin bright red when she emerged. To her surprise, he had bath salts and bubble bath. This man was certainly full of surprises. She didn't question their placement in his bathroom, but she was grateful for the foam that could provide a little privacy and epsom salts to sooth her muscles.

"Alright," he obliged, trying to be a gentleman, "Although it's nothing I haven't seen before."

"You've seen me naked from the waist up, it's not the same." she sank down into the water, sighing deeply at the relief it brought. Slowly her muscles started to unwind the knots of tension built up under the skin. "You can turn around now."

"That isn't entirely true," he reminded her, "I've seen you naked."

She raised an eyebrow, not sure what he meant by that. Briefly, she contemplated shooting him but her weapons were on the bathroom counter, out of reach. The look in her eyes told him to elaborate and to tread carefully if he wanted to survive the night.

"Remember how we used to go down to the lake in the summer?" To relieve the summer heat, they used to go skinny dipping late at night when no one could see them. They'd been teenagers, young and foolish. After stewing in the hot house all day, almost anything seemed like a good idea, even the foolish ideas Roy had. It was hard to talk her into it at first, but soon she was the one urging him to go with her.

"That's right." she remembered, "Although my body has changed quite a bit since then. It's not really the same." The redness in her face from the hot water deepened as she remembered that Roy had seen much more than just her back before.

"Why did we ever stop doing that?" he pondered aloud.

"Because my father found out and threatened to shoot you if he ever found out you saw me naked again." she chuckled. Even though nothing had happened between them, it was hard to convince her father that it was appropriate to go skinny dipping with an older boy. They would sneak back home just before sunrise, until one morning they found an irate Berthold Hawkeye waiting for them on the porch.

"I knew there was a good reason."

* * *

"We got Xingese food!" Ed announced, carrying in the bags, "Havoc and Fuery were talking about it and it sounded kind of good."

Roy groaned and rolled his eyes. Not missing his gesture, his lieutenant elbowed him in the side. Biting his tongue, he gave her a nod that he would behave himself and eat without complaint. Shaking her head, she offered to go to the kitchen and grab plates. "Could you boys give me a hand setting the table for dinner?"

"Is something wrong?" Al asked, wondering why the colonel was less than enthused when he told them to get whatever they wanted for dinner.

"The colonel's mother was from Xing," she explained, "So he grew up with more authentic versions. He has a lot of disdain for anything claiming to be Xingese food in Amestris. You won't find much in the way of deep fried foods or sugary sauce if you go east of the desert." She'd been to their country's eastern neighbor a few times during her time in the military. Each time was an eye opening experience, albeit a bit of a culture shock.

"Oh, I see," Ed nodded.

"We can put it all in the middle of the table and eat family style," she began setting plates around the table, "Hopefully he will find something he likes so we won't have to hear him complain all night." The boys had nearly enough food to feed all of Xing. They probably hadn't known that generous portions were the norm, as running out of food when feeding guests was a poor reflection on the cook in Xingese culture.

"Um, miss Riza?" Al started sheepishly, "I don't need a plate. Or food."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Al," she cringed, "I forgot. I did not mean to offend you." She looked down at the fourth, unnecessary place she had set at the table for him. It was easy to forget that his armor was empty.

"Oh, none taken!" he assured her, "I can still join you, I just won't eat anything. It's actually kind of nice to know that people still think of me as a person sometimes." It stopped being awkward a long time ago. Getting used to talking to something hollow took getting used to, but Hawkeye had been very understanding from the beginning. Even though her knowledge of alchemy was limited, she always accepted what the brothers had sacrificed, for their mother and for each other.

Roy reached across the table, grabbing the container of something that looked like chicken with vegetables swimming a thick red sauce, "At least you got some of this, chicken with chilis. Let's see if they make it hot enough." he skewered a piece of it disdainfully with a fork, disturbed by the lack of chopsticks provided with the takeout, and gulped it down, "Not bad. Not bad at all."

Ed took some from the container and added it to his plate. After one bite, his mouth was on fire, the chili oil clinging to his tongue long after he swallowed. "What the hell is this? How can you eat this stuff? This is the one time I think I've ever wished I had milk but I think what you have in the fridge has chunks in it!" He panted, trying to get the taste out of his mouth, while the colonel chuckled at his misery.

* * *

"Hey colonel?" Ed interrupted Roy as he finished the dishes, "we might need to revisit those sleeping arrangements."

His curiosity piqued, he dried off his hands and followed the young alchemist into the living room. His subordinate had fallen asleep on the couch, curled up on her side. The exhaustion of the day had caught up to her. For a moment, Roy considered picking her up and carrying her to bed, but he thought better of it, remembering her injuries. He knew he could carry her weight with ease but he could also hurt her if he tried to move her, "You boys take the guest bedroom, I don't want to wake her."

Al returned from the bedroom down the hall with a blanket, draping it carefully over her sleeping form. She didn't stir as he covered her up slowly, hyper-aware of the creaking his armor made as he moved. "Good night!" he whispered.

"Is she going to be alright?" Ed smiled at his brother's kind gesture, but he was still a little uneasy. He was leaving East City with his brother tomorrow. The last thing he wanted to do was leave and have something happen to her. Thinking she was dead, if only for a few minutes, was almost too much to bear. When he left once, he saw Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes for the last time.

"She's resilient enough," Roy told him, having full faith in her, "She'll be okay. I'll look after her after you leave. She's in good hands."

"Huh? Whose hands are you talking about," Ed jabbed, waving goodnight as he followed his brother down the hall.


	6. Chapter 6

Roy turned out the lights and started to head toward his bedroom. Before he retired for the night, he stopped, checking on his subordinate one last time. She was still tucked in on the couch in a deep sleep. Beneath her closed eyelids, he saw her eyes darting back and forth, her brow furrowed in frustration. She started to fight the blanket covering her body, desperate to escape from whatever was haunting her. Concerned, he crouched down beside her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. When she didn't respond to his touch, he gave her a gentle shake, "Lieutenant, you're dreaming."

In a flash, he was flat on his back with the wind knocked out of him. She had grabbed his arm and threw him on the ground. He wasn't even sure if she was fully awake until she sat up and looked around. Seeing no one, she started to lay back down before noticing him on the floor, "Sir?"

"You were having a nightmare, Lieutenant," he told her, trying not to judge her. "When I tried to wake you, you threw me on the ground."

"I'm so sorry," she moved to help him up, but he waved her hand away.

"It's fine," he assured her, "Really. I just didn't want to leave you in the dark." He sat down next to her on the couch, studying her carefully to make sure she was alright. It was stupid of him to forget her strength, especially given that he'd experienced it first hand earlier. He should have known better than to wake a sleeping lioness.

They listened carefully for a moment, hoping the commotion didn't disturb the two brothers. Thankfully no noise came from behind the closed bedroom door.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch, you know." he told her gently, "We didn't want to wake you up earlier, you looked like you needed your rest. So I let the boys take the guest room. You can have my bed if you'd like. You'll wake up stiff on this old thing, trust me." He'd done it a time or too, particularly after a night of drinking, when he would wake up on the old couch in a bizarre drunken yoga posture.

"It's not bad," she assured him. "And I'm not going to kick you out of your own bed."

"Who said anything about kicking out? I can leave if you want me to, but it is a king sized bed. There's plenty of room for both of us."

"It wouldn't be appropriate, sir."

He sighed, knowing that she would be stubborn. "I can make it an order if you'd like, if you're going to start calling me 'sir' again. I'll sleep on the couch if you're uncomfortable sleeping beside me, but you're already in pain, this couch will only make it worse."

She knew he was right, she could already feel stiffness in her back building. It was bearable but hard to ignore. Roy could sense it too. He handed her the bottle of pills for the pain and she swallowed it dry without complaint. Now what he was wearing only a white undershirt and pajama pants, she could see the bruises on his body. He seemed to have fared better than she did but he took a few good hits. "If you look like that, your probably shouldn't be sleeping out here either."

"I'll be on my best behavior," he promised with a smile, "It's only until morning." He helped ease her up from the couch, his hand lingered at the small of her back, protectively guiding her to bed.

If she were less exhausted, she would have questioned why he needed such a massive bed. It seemed like an elaborate and unnecessary luxury which could not have been easy to guide up to the second floor apartment. She sat down on the edge of the bed and began to remove the boots she forgot she'd fallen asleep in. The reach forward was a bit too much to bear and she reluctantly asked for help, "Roy?

"Sure." she didn't even have to ask, he was already unlacing them. "You probably shouldn't sleep in your uniform, Lieutenant. Especially if you plan on returning to work tomorrow." He knew she had already planned on it. She would be back tomorrow to whip the soldiers into shape on the range. He pulled out some clothing from his dresser, a tank top undershirt and a pair of athletic shorts he kept from the academy. She didn't protest as he pulled her t-shirt over her head and helped her out of her uniform pants. There was no modesty between friends, not after all they'd been through together. He helped her get the shorts over her wide hips and the shirt over her head without causing her too much discomfort.

"Thank you." she wondered if he could tell she was blushing in the pale moonlight filtering through the window. "I'll take the side by the door." Of course. He didn't expect it any other way. Even on a night like this, she insisted on being the one to protect him and watch his back.

* * *

Ed woke up and glanced at his watch, squinting in the dim light. It was still too early to be up, even with their early train. He sometimes wondered if in addition to eating and sleeping for his brother's body on the other side of the gate, he had to pee for Alphonse as well. Al was familiar enough with the phenomenon he had quit asking about his brother's nightly trips. They had agreed never to tease or joke about it, it was just another thing they did to get by until their bodies were restored.

As he left the bedroom, he decided to stop and check on Lieutenant Hawkeye. To his surprise, he found the couch empty. A quick glance back down the hallway told him the bathroom was unoccupied. She didn't seem like the kind of person to relieve herself with the bathroom door open. Curious, he checked the other bedroom, the door of which was still open a crack. "I knew it," he whispered.

Roy was sleeping with his arm draped around his subordinate's middle. She started to toss around in her sleep, waking and worrying her partner. Sleepily, he sat up and looked at her, realizing what was happening. He rubbed his hand gently up and down her back. Her whole body was shaking, her breath coming in ragged pants. He was whispering something to that Ed couldn't quite make out. Easing himself back down beside her, Roy pulled her in close, keeping his arms protectively wrapped around her body. Soon she was asleep again, curled up on his chest with her head over his heart. His obsidian eyes in the dark made contact with Ed's, realizing they were being watched, "Not a word, Fullmetal." he mouthed.

Ed made a zipping motion across his grinning mouth. He would never rat them out, but it felt good to have some leverage on the colonel if he ever needed it.

After stopping by the bathroom, Ed returned to bed. "Hey, Al, you're not going to believe this."

* * *

Roy woke up to an empty bed. It was a familiar sight, albeit a bit disappointing this time. Her side of the bed had lost its warmth, so she must have been up early. He heard chatter from in the kitchen, telling him he was the last one up. To his surprise, he saw his subordinate cooking breakfast. "Hey, look who's finally up!" Ed mocked.

"Did you have a long night, Colonel?" Al asked knowingly.

"You might say that." he ran his hand through his messy bedhead, "Are you boys ready to catch your train?"

"Yep!" Al nodded, "We're all packed, the lieutenant was just making us some breakfast."

"I see." he peeked over her shoulder to see what she was cooking. It smelled rich and hot, making his stomach growl. He then noticed the grocery bags on the counter. "You went shopping?"

"I didn't have much choice sir," she told him, scooping helpings of eggs onto plates with bacon and potatoes. "Nothing in your fridge was edible except for the leftover chili chicken, which only you can stomach."

"Oh man, nothing is better than free food!" Ed began wolfing down his breakfast, not waiting for it to cool down first. He stopped to pant, cooling off the bite in his mouth before swallowing. Despite his brother's warning, he showed no more caution with the second bite than with the first.

"I had eggs!" Roy complained. She directed his attention to the trash can, with a carton of eggs sitting on top of the trash pile. Beneath the carton was half the contents of his refrigerator, and a good deal of the food in his pantry.

"They floated, colonel." she shook her head. "Those eggs have not been edible for quite some time."

"Bad eggs build up hydrogen sulfide gas, making them float," Ed explained, not missing Roy's puzzled look. "It's alchemy in the kitchen!"

"Do you just eat out every night? That must get expensive," she handed him a plate. It had been a while since he had anyone to cook for him. And thankfully she was quite good at it. Rarely did a day go by that he didn't thank whatever higher power there might be for Riza Hawkeye. Now he had another reason.

"Hey Lieutenant, how come you have your hair down?" Al asked, noticing the change from her usual style.

"My clip broke yesterday," she explained, "I'll put it up before returning to work. It's too long to fit uniform regulations." She tried to hide her disappointment. It was just an object, but it had become part of her identity.

"Can I see it?" he asked curiously. She nodded, pulling the pieces out of her pocket. There was a flash of light as he brought his hands together and he handed it to her, good as new.

Shocked, she couldn't find the words to thank him. Somehow, he seemed to understand.

* * *

Roy loaded them all into his car irately. They were going to miss the train if they didn't hurry, so he reluctantly asked his lieutenant to drive. They may not arrive alive, but they would arrive on time. Come to think of it, he had no idea who taught her to drive. It may have been Rebecca, which would explain a lot, but it wouldn't surprise him if she taught herself. He cringed as he handed her the keys. He didn't mind driving with her if she was using a military vehicle, but this was his personal car. "Can you get us there both on time, and in one piece?"

"You underestimate me, sir," she teased. "I'm insulted."

He swallowed hard, hoping he could keep his breakfast down. He tried not to look out the window as they zipped in and out of traffic. The brothers in the back seat clung to each other for dear life as they slid around corners. They arrived at the station with eight minutes before final boarding.

"Hey, I didn't miss you guys!" Havoc hadn't told them he was coming, with Black Hayate at his heels. He handed the lieutenant Hayate's leash. "He was well behaved. I think he missed you though." She picked him up, holding him close. Even though it had only been one night, she had missed him. Ed and Al gave him a pet, but Ed had to caution Al that they couldn't take in any pets right now. Cats  _or_ dogs. The train blew a final warning whistle for final boarding and the boys ran onto the train, taking the first empty seats they found, leaning out the window to say goodbye.

"You boys take care," Havoc waved with the others.

"Major Armstrong will be picking you up at the train station to take you to the Central Library!" Roy shouted over the train's engine.

"Oh man, really?" Ed groaned. At least this time Al wasn't riding as livestock. "That guy has some serious issues. And those issues have probably  _been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!"_

"Call us if you run into any problems boys," Hawkeye instructed, waving with Hayate in her arms.

"Sure thing," Ed nodded. He knew she worried about them during their travels, but she had enough to worry about, keeping Mustang and his team in line.

Al leaned out the window as the train began to pull away from the station platform, "Thank you all for everything!"

* * *

After the boys left for Central, Havoc began interrogating his two superior officers. "So, how was last night? Who took the couch?"

"No one," Hawkeye told him curtly, trying to get him to drop the subject.

"Really?" Havoc raised a curious eyebrow, "Did the military repeal don't ask don't tell so you and Fullmetal could get a room? You two fight like a married couple."

"In addition to being in poor taste, your joke implies something illegal," Roy cautioned. "Even if it weren't against military regulations, I outrank him. On top of that, the boy is sixteen, in case you forgot." The colonel had heard lots of jokes over the years implying a less than platonic relationship between him and Maes Hughes, despite his late friend being hopelessly smitten with his wife. He'd always brushed off the jokes as nothing more than gossip among bored soldiers. Even though he was definitely a ladies man he never found it insulting. His relationship with Fullmetal was more paternal than anything, so even joking about it was repulsive.

"Jeez, it was just a joke," Havoc rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "So then, that only leaves so many combinations. Man I should have payed more attention in math. Statistics was hard. There's no way you two shared a bed I mean-" he froze, noticing Roy's gaze shift down to his feet. The cigarette fell out of his mouth. "You did!"

The two ignored Havoc's demands for details, climbing into Mustang's car while Havoc stared through the window gleefully. As they pulled away to leave, Hawkeye rolled down the window. "We did. But no one will ever believe you."

Havoc shook his head and headed to his own car, "Please, everyone already knows."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thank you all for reading! Sorry if you ship Ed/Roy, I just find it inappropriate. I hope you enjoyed this story, thank you to all who followed it from the beginning.


End file.
